“I don’t need any of this stuff…”
“I haven’t had sex in months.”
“My partner doesn’t even take me out to dinner any more.”
These are all very real examples of the types of complaints I encounter at my Pure Romance parties, and they’re heart-breaking. Don’t think I can’t relate! I’m not immune to the stress of small children, busy schedules, and comfort level that both seasons and threatens marriage as it grows. When women tell me this, I know that they’re typically hurting, or maybe they’ve had a broken heart so long they’ve used apathy to dull the ache.
They need to be reassured that there is still hope, but initiating sex might feel too intimate and risky for them if they’ve drifted far. So how do you reconnect with a partner?
Massage. Touch each other without any intentions of it going further.
So simple, right? You might even be rolling your eyes a little.
But it can’t be just any kind of massage! The three or four foot squeezies they give you during a commercial break don’t count. The tracing the alphabet on your partner’s back before you fall asleep won’t cut it, either.
So what do you need to do first? Communicate about what’s going to happen. “Can we touch each other tonight for 30 minutes?” Too bold for you? Use a card game so it does the hard part for you by making fun, flirty suggestions to get things moving.
Next up is setting the mood. Don’t do it on the couch in front of the TV, or in your bedroom with the lights on & a mess in the floor. Take some time to set the tone of the evening. Use a lightly scented candle, some linen spray, and maybe your partner’s favorite music.
Now it’s time for some action! Start with the top of the head and massage their scalp while their head is in your lap, don’t forget to squeeze the earlobes gently as you move down to the shoulders! Flip them over and grab a smooth massage oil and heated massager and begin rubbing their shoulders and back. The heat will relieve pain while the oil ensures that the massage is gentle and fluid. Work your way all the way down to their toes, making sure to use enough oil for it to be comfortable!
“My turn!” Now it’s your turn to enjoy the massage. Because you’ve modeled patience, care, and tender touch for your partner, they’re more likely to return the favor thoughtfully.
Massaging each other for 30 minutes once a week can do amazing things for your relationship & your body. It can help you reconnect, make you laugh, arouse you unexpectedly, and maybe even lead to a steamy bedroom session, but the bottom line is: you need that interaction to stay healthy in a relationship, and if you’re not taking the time for it, you’re going to suffer the consequences.
Enjoy each other. Act out your passion. Don’t waste another second!